Thread Pheromones--A Warning!

 A recent study has indicated that threads give off certain pheromones that hypnotize women (and some men) and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts of thread. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces (ie. stores), the pheromones in the thread causes memory loss and induce 'gathering syndrome' (similar to the one's in squirrels before the onset of winter).

Sound tests have also revealed that these threads emit a very high-pitched sound heard by only a select few (known as 'tatters'). When played backward these sounds are heard as chants: '...BUY ME! TAT ME!....'

Furthermore, the pheromones seem to cause a pathological need to secret the thread purchases away when one takes them home and blend them into the existing stash.

In order to overcome the so-called feeding frenzy effect that these threads cause, one must wear a face mask and ear plugs when entering the primary acquisition facilities (stores or internet websites) to avoid being pulled into their grip. It is also beneficial to enter these facilities without the presence of cash or credit cards.

Sad to say, the addictive qualities of this compulsive behavior are cumulative and are ameliorated only by the purchase of more and more and more threads.

No cure is known at this time....